What exactly is sex addiction? Maybe the best way to understand it is to see it the same way we look at alcohol abuse. A person with self esteem issues, or depression, or uncontrollable anxiety, etc., looks for something that can provide them an escape or relief from the trauma of constantly feeling inadequate and depressed. That relief comes in the form of masturbation and/or sexual activity with another person. The sexual activity provides a sense of excitement and distraction for the person and their anticipation of achieving sexual gratification provides them with the euphoria that they find impossible to accomplish in every other area of their lives. Then, on top of that, you have many people who also have an emotional dependency component where they become obsessed and co-dependent with the person they act out with.
What is your view and/or experience with understanding this addiction?
Like any addiction people use sex to change the subject. Sex and relationships are used to allow one to escape out of reality.
ReplyDeleteLike other addictions a person can not stop in spite of negative consequences. It is also progressive as well, requiring more and more quantity and riskier behavior to achieve a thrill. Until, no amount, or kinkier acts can fulfill the desire for escape. Like Sade said, "It's never as good as the first time."
In this affliction there is often a periodic pendulum change in sex and love addiction, between sexual acting out with others and a form of isolation known as social and sexual anorexia. Most sex and love addicts live in the extremes, for most addicts of all kinds there is no middle. And, the sex and love addict will have a proclivity to fill comfortable in one of theses extremes, both of which are unhealthy and destructive.
But unlike a chemical addiction it is trickier to achieve recovery, because as social creatures, people require intimacy and we achieve this intimacy through our social interactions and sexuality. So, unlike the chemical addiction were all the addict has to do is just not pick up (abstain from using the drug), the sex addict can't just "abstain" from sex and social interaction. To recover they will have to learn to use their sexual and social interaction in a healthy way, while not acting out. No easy feat!
This conversation is most poignant being that sex and love addiction more common then is realized or acknowledged. Many have been in the addiction for years and don't know it. Particularly as African people, white supremacy has cast us as these hyper sexual beings. One of our few recognized values in this culture is as sexual objects.
That's my 2 cents.